STR82ACE

This was written by Chicago Sun Times columnist and film reviewer Richard Roeper. These are quite good, and everyone should be agreeing to most if not all of them. Found on another site, thought we should share them here too.

Feel free to add your own unwritten rules:


1. Unless you're playing in a professional-level tournament on TV, don't wear wacky sunglasses or a hooded sweatshirt.

2. If you've folded a hand but the flop shows you would have been a
certain winner, don't slam the table and say, "Sweet Mother of Zeus, I would have won!" There are other people still playing, and it's not fair to share that info.

3. No matter how much you're tempted, DO NOT hum or sing any portion of "The Gambler" by Kenny Rogers.

4. Nor should you say, "Anybody at this table seen 'Rounders'?" or do your imitation of John Malkovich saying he'll "splash de pot" any time he wants.

5. Don't try those nifty little hand tricks with your stack of chips unless you know what you're doing. You don't want to send your chips flying all over the table.

6. If you're playing online, don't take the bait when somebody starts chatting about your poor play and questioning your decisions. Let them whine and rant and criticize. Your silence will just drive them to distraction.

7. On the other side, why would you want to mock a poor player, even if you've just suffered a bad beat? This happens all the time online --superior players scolding weaker players for poor execution. Why would you want to encourage them to improve their game?

8. If you're the favorite in a hand but the underdog beats you, don't act as if you've been robbed at gunpoint. Sometimes a 3-1 favorite loses. That's why they call it gambling, and that's why they keep flipping over the cards.

9. When the next hand starts, stop talking about the last hand, whether you won or lost. Living in the past is a Jethro Tull album, not a smart poker strategy.

10. You're not allowed to give yourself a nickname. This holds true in life as well as in poker.

11. Don't play too dumb. No one will be fooled if you say, "So at what point do we Go Fish?"

12. Don't let the game get personal. If you're starting to think of that one guy at the table as your archrival because he's beaten you three times in the last hour, remember: you're not Spider-Man, and he's not the Green Goblin.

13. Unless you're Tobey Maguire going head to head with Willem Dafoe, in which case you ARE Spider-Man and he IS the Green Goblin.

14. Overblown victory dances are for narcissistic wide receivers, not amateur poker players who just took home the trophy in a charity Hold'em event.

15. When playing in an online ring game, if you are at a "NO LIMIT" table, you cannot vote a player off the table because his bets are too big for you. This is no limit. If you want to see cheap flops, I suggest you go to a limit table.

16. I'm not kidding about the Kenny Rogers thing.

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The man who invented poker was bright.
But the man who invented the poker chip was a genius!!

Flint Bones

But I like Kenny.

Kenny.

Kenny.

He made a good chicken, too.

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Hey Baby. Get in my belly.

STR82ACE

My personal favourite!! Nicknames should be earned and awarded by peers!

TwoChipLouie

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The man who invented poker was bright.
But the man who invented the poker chip was a genius!!

MickeyHoldem

I like these... very nice... but #1 should read...

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-- Michael
Luck is just probability taken personally!

BigChrisEl

I once played in a 30+3 SNG in Vegas and a guy got moved to my table that was wearing dark sunglasses. Some other guy at the end of the table turns to his buddy and says" Man it's so bright in here, I wish I had my sunglasses. Does any one have an extra pair of sunglasses?"

At which point the guy with sunglasses said, "Do you want me to take them me off? Fine!" and then took them off. He then went out 2 hands later.

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The Donkey, though it may go to the Holy Land, will still come back a donkey.

all_aces

This part of my report card would read: "needs improvement".Â* I generally take the bait.

Great find, STR82ACE. Thanks for copying it over here.

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Regards,
all_aces

Old blog entries, trip reports and articles:

http://myspace.com/downtowndevobrown

New blog entries:

http://devinarmstrong.livejournal.com

SOS

I can agree to abide by all these except the Kenny rogers.
No one can take away my Kenny.

Sing it low now...everyone... "and somewhere in the night, the gambler he broke even.....

DrTyore

I prefer "Don't take your love to town"...

'If I could move I'd get my gun and put her in the ground...'

Mark

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Life's usually simple, just not always easy

stpboy

I don't completely agree with this statement, I'll dance dance all over the place when I get sucked out on and then re-suck out the player(s) involved! Of course, I am a narcissistic wide receiver too....

stp

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I typically bet that my luck is better than your skill.

DrTyore

Funny.... I thought you were the "best QB in league history"....

Mark

__________________
Life's usually simple, just not always easy

stpboy

This should actually have read (see above)

stp

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I typically bet that my luck is better than your skill.